| Tuesday, April 04, 2006 |
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PMS is bad. Bad, bad, bad. But my decreasing sucess rate in everything can't just be hormonal, and it can't just be luck. Everything is lousy, everyone is lousy. The weather is lousy. My nails are lousy. The week is lousy. Guys are lousy. Girls are lousy. I've really lost a lot of drive. No surprise. While I envy my over-achieving friends, I really have no desire to follow in their footsteps. Motivation=gone. Class is stupid. I daydream for hours, which leads me to think more about the cute indie sophomore and less about keeping track of what little homework I care to do. I keep thinking, "Next week I'll turn things around!" Next week I'll write really neatly on my homework, next week I'll organise my binder, next week I'll pay attention in class. Take some pride in stuff I already know, right? It doesn't happen, and with good reason. Who cares? I've begun letting my eating get out of control. Chocolate is great, and there's so much of it. I see myself changing quickly, and it's frightening. My skin isn't clear anymore, and I never feel good. I have self control, but no reason to use it. Who cares? Who cares about anything? --- music: Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead |